I guess the way that people have treated me and the way that people have seen me have sort of changed the way I’ve seen both, I sort of developed a skewed perspective and I might of alienated many of my fans or friends that I might of made during my long time on the internet and I have treated people very harshly and very badly for the things they did not do and mostly my opinions which are very skewed and somewhat incorrect though I don’t know, and for that I apologize, I also apologize for mostly every word I said and mostly every action I’ve done if any of that offended you if you were one of those guys who were constantly watching or analyzing me closely. Yes I do feel shame and guilt for what I did though I don’t explain properly and it doesn’t turn out the way I want it to. But hey, every human has emotions right?

I also know what I did and the repercussions that happen and I’m mostly willing to live with the repercussions. This is why I need a small break from all of this, I’ve been getting into a lot of trouble recently, I don’t know if this is due to my behavior recently or because of all of the situations that I keep getting myself into to, but I do realize that I myself do need help and I may be considering seeking help or getting into physical therapy, I appreciate all of you trying to help me and I will consider all of your suggestions equally and I couldn’t of made it without you should I one day suddenly get famous or something. Also the main reason I’m taking a break is because I’ll probably be associated with this one event that really isn’t a big deal and I just want to rest for a while before I return. I just feel like I need to get my mind off of this for some time and return when I’m rested and ready.

Also, I am aware that I have anger management issues and sleep management issues. I seriously don’t know why I get angry over small and insignificant issues, it may be because something doesn’t go right or I can’t get the issues resolved or it may be something entirely different, but that’s no excuse for me to get very angry and very delusional over something that’s insignificant and something that’s probably going to make my life worse. I can try to remove every trace of what I did but it still, it’s kind of like a lesson for me. Also I am aware of people’s opinions on the content on my blog, myself and my opinions and I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t agree with the way people see me and think that every honest opinion on the blog is how I’ll act on every community. I have to say that this is just a blog of what I was feeling at the time and does not represent the way I behave on an online community or in real life. It’s just a way for me to vent. I do try to keep it clean on the blog though.

I’m also worried that the stuff that I may rap about, the subjects I may rap about in the future may provoke to some that I have a bad image and this is the way I act in real life. I just want to let you know that I try to keep my rap career, the stuff I write on my blog and my involvement with communities slightly separate so people don’t get the wrong image about me or treat me badly or differently because of it. Most of it I’m just expressing how I feel and probably having a fun time doing it but mostly once you get to know me, I’m a pretty nice guy. Also a side note about the Columbine and Virginia Tech, I may be acting like the people who had complex physiological problems but I’ll promise to change and further myself from those guys. Note that I have been actually reading about these guys and they seemed like they had some legitimate problems, I’m scared by what happened and what they did, and that’s a sign that I need to change myself.

Again, sorry for everyone following me and I hope you pick up my debut album coming soon. Also my earlier way of trying to say that I was serious came off a little bit columbinish, again, sorry for that.

I’d admit it, I tie myself with a community for most of the following reasons. It’s because the community is neat, you feel a certain attachment to them after an amount of time and I’d admit it, the people on there are very nice and very talented but you tend to be associated with the community after a long time. Note, I don’t mention the various names of the communities I’ve been with or in well because I feel like I want this to truly be a blog of my thoughts and opinions, also I don’t want to risk any of my other fans finding out about this site well because most of them I feel ashamed for and I don’t also want to be associated with them. If something bad happened and everybody turned against you, would you be associated with them anymore?

Also, if someone’s acting like in they’re own world, acting stupid or just have serious problems, they get much more attention and much more of the fame. I know I said something about this before but I feel that they and I need some help. I know they’re just trying to be a part of the community, trying to help out, trying to get noticed but is mocking them really going to do any good. I’ve been mocked before and I clearly know how it feels, it feels like your being mistreated and nobody takes you seriously anymore, I’ve been through it a lot of times. I just wish some people would try to show these misguided people the light, even though I might of contributed to the problem and I feel sorry for it.

I’d imagine that this would be longer but, whatever. I also have some problems with people doing stuff with my stuff that I didn’t want done, I’ve tried to speak out in 2006 but they wouldn’t even take me seriously then, 3 years later, still the same. For those of you reading, please don’t play my music and videos on radio talk shows when somebody is talking, it’s not funny and it’s disruptive. Also, I’m not a comedian, you may think I’m a comedian because the stuff that I did in the past is really funny and gut busting, hell, even I think it’s funny but I’m trying to get people to take me more seriously. I obviously have a long way to go before ever reaching that status but hell, this might be the perfect time to take a break from all of this and seriously get to some things I’ve been dreaming to do but haven’t been able to do.

Now you’re probably thinking hey, who created this theme, did you pay for it? To answer that question, I created it and I didn’t pay a penny to create it or get someone to create it. This theme took 4 or maybe 5 days to make, had to apply the code, fix positioning errors, make it cross compatible with other browsers you know, the usual. It’s dark, slick, techy, modern and it’s not even released for public download (when I do post the theme for public download, I’ll give it a proper name and download link.). I just feel with everyone using themes other people created or that are available at WordPress.com. Note that I do respect the people who create the themes and the people who modify it to suit their needs, but it’s just the fact that people can do everything with these themes without touching it. You’re also thinking why there is no sidebar on the right if you’re just looking at this post, well people might not know it yet but I don’t want my sidebar full of useless and unnecessary widgets or nothing leaving along noticeable trails of blank space which nothing will ever take up or use. There most of your questions answered.

Also note that due to the economy and various budget issues, I do not have enough money to buy anything geeks glamour over these days. So I cannot get that iPhone and start my photography career, I can’t get that iMac that I ever wanted and even so, me and my family are probably going to end up in the streets. I know I’m overreacting but I’m just here to ensure you that the following sections I depicted in my mockup will be available eventually. Also note that the Podcast is going along fine, I have a studio setup complete with a pop filter, microphone stand, USB studio microphone, though I do need to find a way for people to browse episodes. Also while I haven’t started work on my debut album "Hello! My Name is Taylor Karras" yet, I’ve been writing up some lyrics to replace some songs that I don’t think fit on the CD but it’ll probably be out by May of 2009, possibly later or earlier.

So, that’s it for me. Welcome my website, what appears to be a long winding road heading nowhere. So please, sit back and subscribe, also enjoy the ride.