Hey, for the few of you reading or constantly watching my blog. I’d just like to say that I am truly sorry for an earlier blog post where I rant on idiots, and most importantly I am sorry for something I said that turned out to be really physiologically disturbing. After someone said that one of my posts were columbinish, suggesting that I was a mentally unstable person on the inside. Well he may be right and I am probably overreacting to some of the events and problems that I’ve been through last year. I just feel like this entire issue in my life resolved around the past 2 years, the stuff that I’ve been through and the stuff I exaggerated over and in term while I did disassociate myself with a lot of sites I used to be with, I unknowingly kept my behavior towards former friends and people who seemed unintelligible very hostile, for that I apologize, hope we can put this between ourselves and start our relationships new again. I guess that while trying to change my image, I’ve sort of become a jerk in the process.

I guess the way that people have treated me and the way that people have seen me have sort of changed the way I’ve seen both, I sort of developed a skewed perspective and I might of alienated many of my fans or friends that I might of made during my long time on the internet and I have treated people very harshly and very badly for the things they did not do and mostly my opinions which are very skewed and somewhat incorrect though I don’t know, and for that I apologize, I also apologize for mostly every word I said and mostly every action I’ve done if any of that offended you if you were one of those guys who were constantly watching or analyzing me closely. Yes I do feel shame and guilt for what I did though I don’t explain properly and it doesn’t turn out the way I want it to. But hey, every human has emotions right?

I also know what I did and the repercussions that happen and I’m mostly willing to live with the repercussions. This is why I need a small break from all of this, I’ve been getting into a lot of trouble recently, I don’t know if this is due to my behavior recently or because of all of the situations that I keep getting myself into to, but I do realize that I myself do need help and I may be considering seeking help or getting into physical therapy, I appreciate all of you trying to help me and I will consider all of your suggestions equally and I couldn’t of made it without you should I one day suddenly get famous or something. Also the main reason I’m taking a break is because I’ll probably be associated with this one event that really isn’t a big deal and I just want to rest for a while before I return. I just feel like I need to get my mind off of this for some time and return when I’m rested and ready.

Also, I am aware that I have anger management issues and sleep management issues. I seriously don’t know why I get angry over small and insignificant issues, it may be because something doesn’t go right or I can’t get the issues resolved or it may be something entirely different, but that’s no excuse for me to get very angry and very delusional over something that’s insignificant and something that’s probably going to make my life worse. I can try to remove every trace of what I did but it still, it’s kind of like a lesson for me. Also I am aware of people’s opinions on the content on my blog, myself and my opinions and I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t agree with the way people see me and think that every honest opinion on the blog is how I’ll act on every community. I have to say that this is just a blog of what I was feeling at the time and does not represent the way I behave on an online community or in real life. It’s just a way for me to vent. I do try to keep it clean on the blog though.

I’m also worried that the stuff that I may rap about, the subjects I may rap about in the future may provoke to some that I have a bad image and this is the way I act in real life. I just want to let you know that I try to keep my rap career, the stuff I write on my blog and my involvement with communities slightly separate so people don’t get the wrong image about me or treat me badly or differently because of it. Most of it I’m just expressing how I feel and probably having a fun time doing it but mostly once you get to know me, I’m a pretty nice guy. Also a side note about the Columbine and Virginia Tech, I may be acting like the people who had complex physiological problems but I’ll promise to change and further myself from those guys. Note that I have been actually reading about these guys and they seemed like they had some legitimate problems, I’m scared by what happened and what they did, and that’s a sign that I need to change myself.

Again, sorry for everyone following me and I hope you pick up my debut album coming soon. Also my earlier way of trying to say that I was serious came off a little bit columbinish, again, sorry for that.

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